Achilles Heel
I have a weak spot - an extremely weak spot. Basically, if you want me to do something and I'm reluctant - guilt me into it. I think it comes from growing up with a grandmother (whom I loved very much) who would prey upon this weakness. I can still hear her now, "You'll be sorry when I'm gone." And by damn, I am. I guess that's why I can now be guilted into about anything. I certainly don't fall to peer pressure. I never have done anything in direct opposition of my morals to satisfy another person. Beg and plead all you wish, I won't do it if it underminds my moral fibers. It's probably these same moral fibers that allow me to be guilted. I will add to this a disclaimer - I cannot be guilted into doing something that I feel is inherently wrong. In high school, I had lots of friends that played with Mary Jane on occassion; however I never imbibed. I don't think it is inherently wrong. Smoking in any form has never appealed to me. I just never wanted to try it. I had a couple friends who tried to get me to smoke with them. In the end, I just stopped going around them. It was annoying to have to constantly tell them "no."
Disappointment really bothers me. The odd thing is, I constantly set these goals that can never be achieved. People hardly live up to my expectations. I plan shit out to the "T" and if it doesn't occur that way, then I get disappointed. Is that self-destructive? Perhaps I should set the bar lower? Maybe if I stopped being so damn obsessed with disappointment I would learn to stop being guilted into things.
Disappointment really bothers me. The odd thing is, I constantly set these goals that can never be achieved. People hardly live up to my expectations. I plan shit out to the "T" and if it doesn't occur that way, then I get disappointed. Is that self-destructive? Perhaps I should set the bar lower? Maybe if I stopped being so damn obsessed with disappointment I would learn to stop being guilted into things.
posted by ahsirt at 8:42 PM
2 Comments:
Never lower your standards. If you lower your goals and do not meet them you will be shattered. If you meet them you will wonder if you lowered them to much and if you really met them at all. As long as your goals are high even if you do not reach them you will always know that you gave it everything you had and left nothing untried.
Helping others is not an achilles heel, as long as you do not contradict your moral beliefs, you are doing only the thing that God himself wants. That is for us to help each other.
Helping others is a great thing, but you also have to take care of yourself. As you enter this new phase in your life, there will be more and more people and events all jockeying for what little precious time you have. Help when you can, give when you can, but don't slight yourself or those closest to you in the name of doing good for others. Too many people in this world will exploit that fault and leave you drained. I know of several people who do good things in the community, but often at the price of their marriage or their children. You have a right to be happy - not selfish - but happy.
As far as goals and planning go, ROMA is right - never compromise. However, you should also know that when you set your goals so high, you may not always reach them. The answer is to keep pushing for them, but realize that sometimes just striving toward them is enough. As for planning, it is a great thing, but you have to realize that life is not scripted. Try to just roll with the punches and take what you can out of any situation. Its great when things go as we planned, but sometimes its even better when we learn and experience new things BECAUSE the plan fell apart. The beauty of life is in its uncertainty, you just need to embrace it more. Stop fearing what may come and start looking forward to it.
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