Why Meth is a Pain in My Ass

I woke up this morning feeling pretty crappy. I'm pretty sure it's the prodrome of a cold. I don't really feel sick as much as I feel blah. The throat's a little scratchy and my nose is either running like a faucet or feels like it has a vice on it. And I just generally feel kinda achy all over. So, being the almost-pharmacist that I am, I trudged out to the local J-Mart (name conspicuously changed) to retrieve some cold medicine. I stopped working in the retail pharmacy world 2 months ago, but I knew WV had this stupid Sudafed law. Apparently, meth has become a pretty big problem in our state - so like with all other drug laws, WV has decided to punish Joe Citizen for a meth head's problem. Now to buy products containing pseudoephedrine as their main igredient, you have to give up your first born child. Actually, you do have to give your driver's license - which will be recorded in a log book along with your address, telephone number, date of birth, product purchased, and weight in grams of pseudoephedrine in the product. This information is then turned over to the state and they monitor frequent buyers of pseudoephedrine. Trust me, you don't want to be a member of this frequent flyer club. Oh, and you also cannot purchase more than 9 grams of pseudoephedrine in one month (who in God's name needs 9 grams of pseudophedrine???) Anyway - back to why this is a pain in my ass... I get to J-Mart and enter the Cough and Cold aisle - which ought to be renamed the - Benadryl and Clairtin aisle because that's all it has now. J-Mart finds it necessary to put every freaking cough and cold product behind the counter and there are little tickets in the aisle that you take to the pharmacy counter to purchase these items. (Kind of like when you used to buy a video game at Toys R Us) This pissed me off because 1)I had other shit to buy and 2)once again I am being punished for a drug addict. I say, let the assholes buy the NyQuil and try to use it to make meth. Let the little teeny boppers by the damn Robitussin DM to hallucinate (word of caution - guafenisin will make you puke long before dextromethorphan will make you hallucinate). So to make a long story short, I came home with a bottle of vitamins and chicken noodle soup. I think I have some Advil Cold and Sinus around here somewhere (shhh don't tell anyone, it has a whopping 30mg of pseudoephedrine). I hate being sick...almost as much as I hate meth addicts.