Mixed Feelings

I am sitting here on my last Monday in didatic classes ever...and instead of bubbling with glee I'm somewhat nervous and a little sad. Nervous because I'm about to start a year of clinical rotations - and I don't know what to expect. Also - if you know anything about me, you would know that I do not deal well with change at all. I find comfort in familiarity...and anxiety in the unknown. Dr. Latif pointed out that I have a low tolerance for the ambiguous (the only thing I ever learned from that man). Nervous I can handle...and even understand. But why am I sad? I hated every day of my P1 year. I cursed the students in my class. I thought the majority of them were materialistic jerks (to put it lightly). The only thing that helped me make it through that semester was a picture taped to my wall of Jaguar S-Type R with "The people at Pharmacy school aren't that bad" written across it. I have since taken the picture down and realized that I never really gave half the people in my class a chance. I now get along exceptionally well with the majority of my pharmacy class. I've even become close friends with some of them. There are still a few that I don't particularly care for...and still a few that I believe will make HORRIBLE pharmacists...but on the whole, I feel more like a part of this class than I did of my high school graduation class. This Thursday at Phollies there will be a slideshow presentation of a bunch of pictures of all of us over the past 3 years...and now I know I'll be the sap with the tissue. I swore to God my P1 year that I would never cry over these people. Apparently, my hypocrisy knows no bounds. So these parting feelings - I suppose their normal. After all, isn't graduation supposed to be 'bittersweet?' I wouldn't want it any other way...