Thoughts on Constant Reassurance

The past couple weeks have been a bit of a blur. This was most evident yesterday when I was broadening the minds of P3 students at XU in my ICARE lab. WR, the presenting student, made it through her "assessment" of the patient before I barreled in and started talking about appropriate treatments. The blank stares on my pupils' faces caught my immediate attention. That's when I realized that I had no freaking idea what WR had said in the assessment. My mind was somewhere between Anaheim, CA and Mathias, WV. I also proceeded to nearly run a red light and later almost drive my car into the side of the car wash. Needless to say, yesterday was not one of my finer days. This was all preceeded by a night of self doubt and self loathing. Note to self - try not to self doubt and drive at the same time! I have an extreme intolerance for the "unknown." I like to know where I stand at all times. When I'm not 100% sure, I start the self-doubting bit. Needing constant reassurance definitely isn't attractive. Hiding it - that's getting harder. I just need to slow down and breath deeply. And perhaps get a bit more reassurance...

Sick & Tired

Here's a list of shit that I'm sick & tired of (and may explain my prolonged absence from the blogsphere):

1. XU - which believes it can dictate my job to me, even though it doesn't pay my salary
2. California - wishing that ASHP had their mid-year meeting up their ass
3. XU - which believes I should stress out in Cali instead of relax
4. My mother - who is constantly fighting me about the guy I'm dating (who she has met TWICE) and the fire department he runs for (wtf?!)
5. XU - which is making me come to a stupid career fair
6. Lack of heat - I just damn sick of being cold
7. XU - for making me list them on here 4 fucking times
8. Lack of peace - I just want some damn peace in my life
9. Fighting - I'm losing my will to fight, and starting to run
10. My residency - is it fucking June yet???