Merry Christmas

And so this is Christmas... As I sat surrounded by my family yesterday evening, I couldn't help but think how fortunate I am. We ate, drank, and were merry all evening long. I thought about several of my Vets at the hospital I work and wondered what they were doing for Christmas. Many of them live at the hospital, so I imagined they were gathered around a table in the Dom cafeteria eating, drinking (minus the alcohol), and being merry together. I thought about the soldiers still in Iraq and what their holiday was like. I'm sure it was just another day at war. Unfortunately road side bombs and bullets don't stop to celebrate the birth of Christ. Yesterday morning, Axis and I started off the holiday celebrating by going to church. When I took my seat, I looked up at the altar and was amazed. There, centered above the alter, were two angels with their hands outstretched and three circles between them - one for Islam, one for Judaism, and one for Christianity. It was at that moment that I knew I was in the right place. It was a great way to start off the season - LOVE. (Thanks Roma for never relenting in asking me to attend your church. It truly is amazing!) Being as our boys (and girls) are still in Iraq, I thought the following Christmas song was an appropriate post for today. Merry Christmas!!!

Happy Christmas (War is Over)

So this is Christmas
And what have you done
Another year over
And a new one just begun
And so this is Christmas
I hope you have fun
The near and the dear one
The old and the young

A very Merry Christmas
And a happy New Year
Let's hope it's a good one
Without any fear

And so this is Christmas
For weak and for strong
For rich and the poor ones
The world is so wrong
And so happy Christmas
For black and for white
For yellow and red ones
Let's stop all the fight

A very Merry Christmas
And a happy New Year
Let's hope it's a good one
Without any fear

And so this is Christmas
And what have we done
Another year over
A new one just begun
And so happy Christmas
We hope you have fun
The near and the dear one
The old and the young

A very Merry Christmas
And a happy New Year
Let's hope it's a good one
Without any fear
War is over, if you want it
War is over now

Happy Christmas
~John Lennon & Yoko Ono

Now Playing on My iPod

1. Red Hot Chili Peppers - Dani California
2. Red Hot Chili Peppers - Snow (Hey Oh)
3. Hurt - Falls Apart
4. Three Days Grace - Pain
5. Three Days Grace - Animal I Have Become
6. Cold - Stupid Girl
7. Goo Goo Dolls - Better Days
8. Goo Goo Dolls - Strange Love
9. The Cure - Lullaby
10. The Cure - Just Like Heaven
11. The Cure - Lovesong

Fun Facts About the Songs:
1. The ring tone on my new cell phone
2. The song I sang aloud when I worked alone 2 weekends ago
3. The story of my freaking life (it's my theme song right now)
4. Pain reminds us that we're alive
5. The bass line in this song rocks
6. HA! Need I really discuss the relevance of this song? Cold is the only band that I like that wears masks...
7. Hoping for better days in 2007
8. I like the beat, synthesizer, etc - just generally like the song
9-11. It's The Cure, I need not say anything else

Lakshmi and Her Wealth

Axis's friend returned from a 2 year stent in India and brought me a gift - a wooden carving of Lakshmi. Lakshmi is the goddess of wealth, light, wisdom, fortune, luck, beauty, and fertility. All of which are currently somewhat absent from my life and dearly missed - with the major exception of fertility! Axis informed me that if Lakshmi sprinkled any fertility dust at his house that I would be raising the infant. I'm just hoping she isn't sprinkling fertility dust at my house! I have her on a shelf with Buddha. I'm hoping the two of them can get together and sprinkle a calm over my life - even if only temporarily.

Just A Little Too Late...

The past week has been less stressful than previous ones. For one, a huge source of my stress has been relieved of his position. I re-iterated to the fireman that I could not longer see him. I'm pretty much sick of dealing with the ex, her family, her child, his infedility, etc, etc. This was followed by multiple phone calls and text messages each day. I've been told that I'm awesome, the best thing to ever happen to him, etc. At this point, it's just a little too late. Perhaps he should've kicked the ex's parents to the curb 2 weeks ago...or perhaps he should've made the ex take her shit 7 freaking months ago when she moved out? It feels inspiring to be the strong, independent woman that I always knew I was.

Last night I rewarded myself by attending Axis's annual Office Christmas Party. A friend that I used to work at the quarry with was there. It was great to sit and talk with him. He is a huge Democratic supporter, which always lends to our conversations. He acutally was in Charleston, WV for the Senator Byrd celebration party on Election Day. We ended up going out for a couple beers at a local bar after the party. We had a really nice time. When he dropped me off, although he didn't walk me to the door, he did tell me it was nice to see me again and told me to thank my brother again for an excellent party. So, who knows? At least it was nice to talk to someone with similar values and views. :)

Yearning for Peace

So the problems that I thought I could leave in Cali...yea they found their way back to WV. I guess the old addage "you can't run from your problems" is true. They find you, no matter where you are. On top of my personal issues, I am also facing a stressful day at work, my grandfather is in the hospital, my cat ran away, and the fighting with my mother continues. As for my personal issues, I don't know what the hell I want. One minute I want to pick up the phone and tell him to come get me...the next minute I start thinking about the shit I've dealt with for the past 2 weeks. I'm tired...emotionally, physically, and psychologically. Prior to our big blow out the day before I left for Cali, I was trying to determine how I felt about him. I've been fighting my Mom constantly about him. I guess I was wondering if he was worth all the Hell...and I really thought he was. Then all this shit happened last week and now I don't think he is. I'm afraid if we're having these problems at 4 weeks, we'll have these problems the rest of the relationship, no matter its duration. I tried to explain this to him...he doesn't agree. He thinks I'm over-reacting. I don't know if I can trust him...I've heard so much shit. He promises its not true. He keeps telling me I'm the best thing that's ever happened to him. I can't handle it. I just want to get in the car and drive far, far away. But I know, no matter where I ended up, my problems would find me again. Hell, I went 3000 miles away and they still found me (and I was only gone 4 days!). Dammit, I just want some damn happiness. Is that too much to ask? Apparently it is...

Tomorrow I have to deal with some unpleasantness at work. Consequently, I'm ready to walk away from that too. Honestly, I can't handle work, home, and my love life. I'm sure the "chaperone" is going to run to the boss and tell how I ditched her ass in Cali. Then I have to tell my boss that I refuse to have her as a preceptor. Inherently I hate conflict. I've been dealing with conflict for 4 goddamn weeks. I'm sick of it. Tomorrow could be bad...it just depeneds on how freaking fed up I am by the time I see my boss. Hopefully I will still be employed after tomorrow...

A Salute to California

A more appropriate name for this post would be, "A Salute to American Airlines." Because, American Airlines gave me the scenic tour of the US this past week. I was in 4 airports last Sunday and 3 on Thursday. My original flight out of IAD was delayed - causing me to miss my connection in Chicago. The next direct flight to Anaheim was overbooked...so American Airlines offered me a chance to go back to my all time favorite Californian city of San Francisco. :) I did purchase a lovely coffee mug at SFO to remember the trip. HA! The weather in Cali was perfect - which makes it really hard to tolerate the 22 degrees I woke up to this morning. My hotel rocked. I've never had such nice service. I miss the "lack of responsibility" I had out there. I tried to leave some baggage out west...but I think it followed me home. I'll deal with it in due time. So to keep this short, here's the highlights of the trip:

1. Being in DC, Chicago, San Francisco, and Anaheim all in one day
2. Seeing Dana Carvey in person - I'll never be able to say California correctly again!
3. Medieval Times - Bidding farewell to the Red & Yellow knight was awfully difficult
4. Walking - Grafs and I walked 30 minutes to and from the convention center each day. Plus, I even walked to Disney Land from the hotel. It was awesome to be out in the nice weather.
5. The Saloon - Our hotel had a knock-off saloon for a bar. I dreamed I was busting through the saloon doors with Doc Holliday. :)

The airplane ride home wasn't much smoother than the trip out. Our connection in Dallas was delayed ~ 45 minutes because someone overflowed the toilet in the first class section. Our pilot rocked though...he told the first class passengers that they could piss in the Coach section. HA! We landed in DC about 20 minutes late...but at least I made it home in one piece. Here's to Vegas in 2007!!!

To Cali...and Hopefully Back Again

Tomorrow I leave for sunny CA. Grafs and I are recruiting future residents for our program. (What big shoes they have to fill!) Over the past two weeks, Grafs and I have boasted about the wild and crazy times we're going to have in Cali. Last week Grafs asked if the government credit card could be used for bail money, and I asked if I could use it to purchase a tattoo. The tattoo would of course be to advertise the residency. I mean, who could say no to "One VA" tattooed across a past resident's ass? In all honesty, the trip will probably be rather calm - some evenings of drinking and partying. Nonetheless, Grafs and I have the entire VA on edge. We've been sat down by the director of travel AND by our own residency director and explained the proper use of the government credit card. I think everyone's a bit nervous. Personally, I'm looking forward to a few days away. It's been a stressful 4 weeks - and I'm ready for a break. When I get back, I plan to start anew. I'm hoping this trip is stress relieving and eye opening. To boot, I hope Grafs and I have at least narrowed the field of potential candidates to fill our positions. In addition, I hope to drop some baggage along the way. :) Viva Anaheim!