Tales From the OR - Part II: Operation Hernia

Our patient, John Doe, was 20 minutes late arriving for his surgery. I thought fate was trying to keep me out of the OR, however as "fate" would have it, Mr. Doe arrived at 9:20...exactly 10 minutes before mandatory cancelation. The nurses got Mr. Doe into a gown and the surgeon came down and marked the surgery site. We then wheeled Mr. Doe to Suite #2. Once in the room we had to make a declaration of the patient, his SSN, and what site was to be operated on. After he made this declaration, Tim the nurse anesthesist, began working his magic. One shot of midazolam, one of pentothal, and one of fentanyl and Mr. Doe was snoring loudly. At this point pancuronium was pushed, thus paralyzing him. Mr. Doe was then strapped ot the gurney to prevent him from falling during surgery. This was a little eerie because the OR started to resemble the death chamber. I didn't have much time to observe the similarities, because Tim was pulling on my scrubs to watch him intubate. Having done this for 30 years, Tim was quick and smooth getting the tube in place. He then let me tape Mr. Doe's eyes shut while he taped the ventilator tube in place. During this time, the nurses were draping the site and arranging the tools - which looked like something the Marquis de Sade would have in his torture chamber. The surgeon entered the room with an I-Pod and promptly plugged it into the nurse's computer. Moments later the suite was bathed in jazz music. I was quite amazed. He left scrub up and returned for the nurses to gown him. The surgery itself took around an hour. I never felt faint or sick. I was actually quite enamored with the entire process. I suppose I was expecting something like church - quiet and serious...but I found it to be quite the opposite. Jazz music was playing the entire time, and everyone was laughing and joking. I guess when you deal with blood and guts all day, you have to do something to stay sane. When Etta James's "At Last" came on the I-POD, the surgeon called for a moment of silence so that I could hear the song (I told him it was my favorite), and then he said, "May every time you hear this song, you think of Mr. Doe's guts." HA! It was a great experience and I really would've kicked myself in the ass if I would've wussied out. And for those of you wondering, Mr. Doe recovered just fine and was discharged about 2 hours after the surgery was complete. Operation Hernia was a success!